Aikido Animals

December 2024
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(Seite auf englisch, weil das Buch ebenfalls englisch ist…)

Have you ever noticed that there are sometimes stereotypes of people you’ll meet at every Aikido seminar? Now imagine what kinds of animals they would be. Sounds funny, right?

That’s what I thought, too, so I actually started to draw them with the goal of getting 31 done for inktober2019. But more and more of them came to mind or were suggested by Aikidoka around the world, until now I have collected more than 50 of them.

And because so many people were asking for it, I put them into a book and funded it with a kickstarter campaign.

By now, all the book copies I had left from the kickstarter print run are gone.

But the book is now published and has it’s own ISBN number – or actually 3 numbers:

Square format: 978-3347000810,
Long format: 978-3347015692,
Paperback: 978-3347015685

I published it with Tredition, a German on-demand publisher. German speakers (or anyone who can navigate a German online shop) can BUY THE BOOK RIGHT HERE.

If you do buy a book somewhere, or know somebody who does, I would very much appreciate feedback on the quality of the print in different countries (like, how thick is the paper, what kind of binding do they use, are the pictures even in color…?) because I’ve been told that it varies a lot, and I have no way to test this myself.

Also, here’s some posters and shirts and stuff: Aikido Animals Store

Here are all the animals and their descriptions. You can download and use them for free, but if you do, please consider donating some small amount to a charity of your choice. I’m supporting the WWF, because I think it goes quite well with the animal topic… 😉

: Sensei – An ancient and powerful creature. You really don’t want to get on their bad side. Best case scenario: They watch you, then move on without showing any reaction at all.

: The Newbie – Has never been to a seminar before. Is confused.

: The Explainer – Whether you need it or not, they will stop you to explain every detail of the technique to you. Every. Time. You. Try. To. Do. It.

: The Hyperactive – Does everything just a little too fast and has waaaay too much energy. Do not feed them coffee.

: The Bored – Right now, they would rather be doing anything but practice with you. Their attention is up in the air or on the group next to you.

: The Super Uke – Their ukemi is beautiful and adaptive. Everybody wants them as a partner, so you are really lucky to catch one of them.

: The Boxer – Likes realistic atemis. If their fist connects with your face – sorry, you were just too slow and didn’t have your guard up.

: The Heavyweight – Good partner, but is about twice your weight and has wrists like tree trunks. Usually encountered during koshinage or yonkyo.

: The Talker – After the seminar, you know all about them, their travel plans, their pets, their grandma‘s hip surgery,… On and off the mat, they never stop talking.

: The Blocker – They block everything you do, unless you do it exactly the way they think is right – which doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with what Sensei is teaching.

: The Slow – They don’t like to hurry. They do things slowly and thoughtfully. The longer the seminar goes on, the slower they get and the longer it takes them to get up again.

: The Shouter – EVERYTHING SHOULD BE DONE WITH KIAI! BACKSTRETCH! KIAI!

: The Awkward – It hurts to watch their stiff, angular rolling. But you have to admire their determination as they try again and again and again.

: The Hungover – Has been partying a bit too much last night, but hopes that nobody will notice.

: The Unlucky – Gets hurt or sick almost every time. Usually within the first few minutes of the first class, or even before the start of the seminar.

: The Anticipator – Taps out before you‘ve even done anything. Quickly turns away and jumps into a roll without waiting for the actual throw.

: The Teacher – Supports you in trying out things for yourself, then gives you the one piece of advice that you needed to make your technique work better. Some of these little details you‘ll still remember years later.

: The Slippery – Their protective layer of sweat makes them hard to grab and even harder to hold. During hot summers their number increases exponentially.

: The Watchers – Forming little groups, they drift further and further towards the edge of the mat, watching, criticising and gossiping.

: The Smelly – They haven’t had the chance to shower or wash their gi in a while, or just ate a lot of garlic. Don‘t breathe through your nose, and try to avoid them for iriminage.

: The Pretty – They don’t seem to sweat, their hair stays perfectly styled, and they look fresh and relaxed even after hours of practice.

: The Shy – Has a hard time making eye contact and often is left over in the beginning. Is always hoping for groups.

: The Dishevelled – Their hair and/or gi keep coming apart, so they’re constantly tugging and pulling everything back together. But no matter what they do, nothing holds together longer than a few minutes.

: The Technician – Don‘t be deceived by their small size and harmless appearance – their technique is so precise they have no trouble dealing with much larger opponents.

: The Veteran – They have been doing Aikido for ages, and been to hundreds of seminars and dojos all over the world. If they sense your interest, they‘re happy to show you interesting variations you‘ve never seen before.

: The Sadist – Doesn’t let go when throwing so you have no chance to roll or fall softly. Secretly enjoys the sound of a victim‘s frantic tapping.

: The Observers – Didn’t see or understand the technique. Whenever Sensei demonstrates anything during practice, they instantly stop to watch, hoping to see it more clearly this time.

: The Aikido Nerd – Has read every book, journal and article about Aikido and knows O‘Sensei‘s biography by heart. Can tell you lots of Aikido trivia and has probably learned some Japanese, too.

: The Playful – They don’t really care about technique or precision as long as everything is in flow and they get to roll around for an hour or two.

: The Strong – They use strength for every movement – which usually works for them because they have plenty of that.

: The Overthinker – They keep thinking about every little detail because they want to do everything perfectly. But the more they think, the worse it gets – until they want to give up in frustration.

: The First Row – If you manage to stay alive in here, you’ll find lots of very good and very motivated partners. A high level of fitness is helpful though.

: The What-if – Keeps asking „but what if uke does this?“ or „couldn’t I do something else here?“ The answer is usually „yes, then you could use another technique, but that is not what we’re practicing right now“.

: The Fitness Fanatic – Does extra push-ups and sit-ups before and after practice, as well as other exercises for different muscle groups. Aikido is just some light warm-up for them.

: The Tiny – Due to their extremely small size it is almost impossible to get below their center. On the other hand, you don‘t need Aikido to pick them up and throw them.

: The Tourist – They don’t train much at their local dojo, are not even particularly interested in personal advancement, but LOVE to travel abroad to exotic seminars and meet new people.

: The Tough – Broken bones, bleeding wounds or sickness can‘t keep them away from the mat. After all, that‘s what painkillers are for, right?

: The Scared – Is scared of doing the technique wrong, scared of hurting the partner, scared of pain, scared of rolling. Just scared in general.

: The Traditional – Thinks that Aikido is nothing without etiquette. Bows a lot.

: The Wrestler – When the Aikido technique is finished – that’s when they get started. If you’re not vigilant they will try to pull you down into a grappling match.

: The Spectator – Can’t participate due to injury or other reasons. Clings to the walls of the room to watch and take in the atmosphere.

: The Recorder – The moment someone claps, they jump to get their camera. You can tell who they are afterwards, because there are never any pictures or videos of them.

: The Collector – They own Aikido shirts and other souvenirs from every seminar or dojo they ever went to. The first thing they do on arrival is get a stamp for their seminar book, and they keep every single entry ticket.

: The Distracted – „Is it my turn already? Oops, wrong attack. What technique were we doing again? Omote or ura? Sorry, I forgot your name.“

: The Picky – They only want to train with the highest ranking people on the mat. Hovering around the Senseis, they are just waiting for the right moment to snatch them away before anybody else gets the chance.

: The Flirtatious – Aikido is mostly an elaborate mating ritual to this type of Aikidoka. They‘re only here to find partners for a different kind of „practice“.

: The Hunter – Possessing a high level of fitness and endurance themselves, they enjoy setting a relentless pace to wear you out completely. Trying to keep up with them will take your body to the limit – if that’s what you want, then you can have the time of your life with a Hunter.

: The Bouncy – Their movements are jerky and uncontrolled. Trying to adopt a low stance, they bounce up and down. When being thrown, they stop, then jump.

: The Inseparables – Cautious of practicing with people they don’t know, they are always seeking the safety of their own dojo mates, content to partner up with the same few people every time.

: The Versatile – Knows other martial arts beside Aikido, and liberally integrates them into the technique. You should be prepared for kicks, sweeps and chokes whenever Sensei is not looking.

: The Space Invader – Even though the mat is full, they somehow always have enough space to roll and throw. Lots of flailing arms and legs might be part of the reason why.

: The Vain – Whenever there are mirrors or dark windows in the room, their attention will be distracted by their own reflection, which they keep checking frequently.

: The Mysterious – Comes to the seminar alone, seemingly without knowing anybody. Doesn’t talk to people, doesn’t socialize, vanishes right after the last class is finished.

: The Swoosher – They make their own sound effects during practice, sometimes startling everyone in hearing range who can‘t place the sudden noise.

: The Wolpertinger – The most common animal on the mat, they are a mix of different traits and can‘t be put into just one category. Some also change according to their condition or mood.